Awakening Beyond Ego (Part 1 of 7): What is the Ego?

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The ego is one of the most complex and difficult to understand constructs in our life. But without noticing and understanding it, we are entirely under its control.

Introduction

“The ego is the unobserved mind that runs your life.” — Eckhart Tolle

I have long been fascinated by the ego — or that complex psychological construct that shapes our thoughts and behaviors, and often runs our lives without us even being aware.

This fascination with the ego began more than a decade ago when I first read Eckhart’s The Power of Now.

The book awakened me to not only the beauty of the present moment but also the silent, yet destructive, power of our ego.

In this seven-part series, we’ll do a deep dive into understanding what the ego truly is, how it manifests in our lives, and how we can transcend its influence to find true freedom.

The ego often runs our life in the background, making it hard to notice and understand. Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva

Along the way, we’ll explore the concept of the true self, embrace the power of the present moment, and discover the profound impact of compassion and empathy on our awakening journey.

So, if you’re curious about unlocking the mysteries of the ego and liberating your soul, I encourage you to stick around.

Throughout this series, we’ll explore some of the life-changing insights and practical tips that have guided me through my own spiritual journey.

So, let’s jump right into it.

The Unobserved Mind

Now, before we can free ourselves from the ego, we have to first understand what it actually is.

At a high level, the ego is a psychological construct that develops as a result of our thoughts, experiences, mental conditioning, and social influences.

It sometimes goes by different names, like the conditioned mind, false self, or illusionary self, because it creates an illusion of being our true identity when, in reality, it is not.

According to Eckhart, the ego is simply the unobserved mind that controls our life. In other words, it’s the mind-made self.

As we all know, our mind is responsible for everything, from our basic survival to how we live and operate in the world.

But for something that is so crucial to our existence, how much time do we actually spend observing our mind?

Just think about this for a second.

We invest so much time focusing on what is outside of us, but we rarely devote the same attention to what is inside.

This lack of self-awareness is exactly what Eckhart means when he calls the ego the “unobserved mind.”

The mind is one of the most amazing things in life, but despite its brilliance, we rarely spend the time to truly understand how it works and behaves. Photo by Laker

However, there is a second part to this quote that is even more important.

The unobserved mind, or ego, not only goes unnoticed but also has significant control over our lives.

It shapes our thoughts and actions, influences our beliefs, and determines the way we navigate through life.

Now, this is not always a bad or negative thing.

In fact, in certain situations, the ego actually serves a purpose, such as fulfilling our basic needs or providing a sense of identity.

For example, if we don’t have any sort of identity, then how we can get a driver’s license, apply for a job, or buy a house?

You can’t just write “nobody” where it asks for your name, although truth be told “nobody” or “no body” is a better representation of you than your given or chosen name.

But you get the picture.

Having an identity is not the most important thing in the world, but it is important to some degree.

These are the sorts of things where the ego is actually pretty helpful in helping us navigate the physical world, or the world of forms.

However, the ego is not as helpful in the spiritual world, or the world of our true self, which is consciousness.

We’ll get into the true self more in Part 2, but for now let’s focus on the times when the ego is not as helpful — the times when it can even be destructive.

The Ego’s Impact on Self-Identity

When we identify too much with the ego, it can actually lead to some serious problems.

We may find ourselves struggling with limiting beliefs and thought patterns that negatively affect our thoughts, decisions, and views about ourselves and the world around us.

Think about when you were a teenager and trying to develop a sense of identity.

You often found yourself lost in transitory things, like the way you looked or how people thought of you — none of which is really you by the way.

The ego creates a story of who you are, based on your thoughts, beliefs, experiences, and so on. Oftentimes, this story is completely false, but without any sort of awareness, we simply wouldn’t know it’s false. Photo by 100 files

At this critical stage of adolescence, you began to attach yourself to this mental construct called “I” or “me.”

You might have even said things like, “I’m a Democrat, I’m Asian, I’m Catholic.” Or “he doesn’t get me, this is mine, I have lost myself.”

Can you hear what these thoughts or statements all have in common?

It’s the focus on the personal self, the me, or the superficial “I.”

As we’ll explore in this series, we are not this superficial “I” that is composed of thoughts and beliefs.

Rather, we are a much deeper being or “I” — if I can even use that word.

This is an awareness that takes time and effort to develop, and candidly not many of us have this presence during these early years of our life.

By associating ourselves with words and concepts that distort who we actually are, we opened the door for the ego to infiltrate our minds, and effectively, control not only our identity, but also our entire lives.

We may not realize it at the time that we are under the ego’s control, but we are in fact very much under its control.

Most of us lack the self-awareness needed to distinguish our true selves from these egoic constructs, and so we become vulnerable to the ego’s mind games and destructive thought patterns.

We experience great mental and emotional suffering that takes on many forms, like stress, anxiety, depression, insecurity, and even self-harm.

One of the most common examples of how the ego can manipulate our minds is making us be hyper-focused on our physical appearance.

In fact, almost all of us, at one point or another, have been insecure about how we look physically.

We might think we are too big or skinny, too dark or light, too awkward or unattractive — whatever the external label may be.

I myself struggled with acne for many years and for a long time believed it somehow impaired my self-image. I became the ego’s favorite victim, because I kept believing and circulating these thoughts that somehow I didn’t look good enough because my skin just happened to be a bit more oily than others.

And in the process, I lost a part of my self — my real self…all because I listened to my false self.

I listened to all its lies and illusions.

In reality, there is no merit to these physical labels, because we are not the body to begin with. We are the essence, or consciousness inside the body.

One of the common ways the ego manipulates and distorts our thoughts is around our physical appearance. Photo by Liza Summer

This is what people mean when they say the soul, which we’ll talk more about throughout the series.

You see, the body has changed a million times since we were born, but the essence has not. The soul or consciousness has not.

However, over the course of the ego’s constant manipulation of our thoughts, especially as a child or teenager, we become insecure about our body and physical appearance.

And the ego just feeds on this insecurity, playing back this negative thought pattern in an endless loop, which destroys us from the inside out.

Even if someone called us ugly or fat for one second, the ego can run with that emotional pain for an entire lifetime.

And this is what we mean when we say we have scars or wounds.

What we’re really saying is the ego has cut us deep.

It has grabbed a knife and carved out this hollow and empty version of our selves.

Because by definition we cannot see our real selves when in the control of the ego, these scars can persist throughout our lives, continuing to impact our mental and emotional well-being.

And so, I hope that by reading these examples, you gain an appreciation of why it’s so important for us to understand the ego and how it manifests in our lives.

This is important not only on a personal level, so that we can grow and build self-esteem, but it’s even more important on a spiritual level.

Diving into the Ocean of Consciousness

Because as long as we identify with the ego, we can never develop and awaken spiritually. And vice versa, the ego can only be truly understood and transcended on the spiritual path.

We can’t use the mind to fight the mind.

We have to use the soul to transcend the mind.

In other words, we have to cultivate awareness of our true self so that we can begin to break free from the ego’s grip.

The spiritual path of self-discovery and personal growth is the only way we can ever truly escape from the ego’s grip. Photo by S Migaj

Only by knowing who we really are, can we know who we are not, and vice versa.

And so, regardless of what spiritual path you’re on, which teachings or gurus you follow, or if you even believe in spirituality or not in the first place, I encourage you to keep an open mind. Keep an open heart, and let the wisdom of these teachings gently seep through.

I promise, I’m not trying to make you think or live a certain way.

Instead, I want you to point the mirror on yourself, and discover how you want to think or live your life.

I imagine that if you got this far in the post that you do not want the ego to control your thoughts and run your life.

So, let’s keep on journeying and dive deeper into this ocean of consciousness to discover the secret of who you are and how you can live a more peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling life.

If the ego is the chaotic waves crashing on the surface, then your true self is the calm and deep ocean below the surface.

A Light to Overcome the Darkness

In this next post, we will be diving deeper below the surface to discover the true self.

We will focus on sensing and connecting with this living consciousness inside us, and see the ego for what it truly is: a veil covering the truth, and nothing more.

As we journey further in this series, we will shed a bigger light on the darkness that is the ego.

A darkness that has no choice but to eventually surrender to the light.

So, thank you for taking some time out of your busy schedule to read this first part.

I look forward to seeing you soon for Part 2: True Self vs. False Self.