Awakening Beyond Ego (Part 3 of 7): Becoming Aware of the Ego
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The Black Hole Inside Us
The ego often operates in the shadows of our consciousness, quietly influencing our thoughts and actions.
It is like a phantom that can’t be seen, heard, or touched, but it is very much there, lurking in the background.
In fact, you can even say that the ego has a certain energy to it.
We can’t see, hear, or touch energy, but we obviously know that it exists. We know that the entire world and universe — including ourselves — are made up of energy.
And the more we unconsciously identify with the ego, the more we are picking up its energy.
This energy or vibration manifests in many different ways.
It could be a lack of confidence or self-esteem. It could be a general irritation or annoyance with others. Or it could be a feeling of pride, superiority, and invincibility.
The ego is a master at emitting these so-called negative energies, and when we are unconscious of what’s really happening, we get sucked into the ego’s gravitation pull.
In fact, you can almost liken the ego to a black hole.
It’s not really something that has inherent properties of its own in the traditional sense, but you definitely know it’s there, and it has the capability to suck everything around it.
It can suck our peace, happiness, and ability to live a meaningful life.
Black holes remain one of the most mysterious and fascinating objects in the universe, but inside all of us there is a black hole.
Fortunately, the difference between our egoic black hole and black holes in outer space is that we can escape the ego’s black hole, even though nothing can theoretically escape a physical black hole.
Scientists say that not even light can escape a physical black hole, but the light of our soul or true essence can escape the egoic black hole.
And it all starts with becoming more aware of the egoic black hole and how it exactly tries to pull us into its sphere of influence.
This is what we will be covering today in this post, which is part three of the seven-part series, Awakening Beyond Ego.
If you haven’t read the first two parts yet, I highly recommend reading those first before diving into this post.
However, if you have already read those two posts, then let’s jump right in.
The Importance of Self-Awareness
In this post, we will embark on a journey of self-awareness.
We will start by highlighting the importance of self-awareness and then exploring practical methods to recognize the ego’s subtle manipulations, or its gravitational pull, if we were to continue our black hole example.
I can’t say it enough: self-awareness is a foundational step towards our spiritual growth.
Without it, we simply cannot progress or hope to free ourselves from the ego.
Self-awareness helps us understand our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors more deeply. It leads to more conscious decision-making and better alignment with our soul, which we covered in Part two.
The most powerful practices for cultivating self-awareness and inner observation are meditation, mindfulness, and introspection.
While they are all related to some degree, each practice provides a unique approach to help us become more aware of our egoic patterns, and we’ll now spend a moment going over each of them.
Meditation’s Impact on the Ego
Meditation, as most of us know, is a mental practice that helps achieve a deep state of concentration and relaxation.
As we sit or stand in meditation, we create space to observe our thoughts without judgment or attachment.
And I say sit or stand, because there really is no right or wrong way to meditation. The whole point is to be rather than to do.
If you’re more focused on the doing, then you’re missing the point.
But regardless of how it is practiced, meditation can help us become aware of the ego’s endless chatter and recognize our attachment to the thoughts, beliefs, and identities it produces.
Through meditation, we develop an awareness that we are actually a witness to life, not the doer of life.
To paraphrase the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, you are doing nothing, and yet nothing is left undone.
Or as the renowned Indian sage and spiritual teacher Ramana Maharshi used to say, “He who is the doer is also the sufferer.”
That is to say, if you think you are the one doing everything, you will also be the one who is suffering from everything.
Rather than being a doer of everything, you are simply a witness to all of creation.
The more you identify yourself as the doer, the more you hold on to your fictitious stories, identities and beliefs.
For example, if you are a cancer survivor, then you might be tempted to label yourself as such, and the ego will no doubt keep reminding you of this label.
You might create a story and a history of how you were the victim, or maybe still are, and how much you are suffering from cancer.
Apart from the self-pity, there may even be a little bit of anger and resentment, like “How could God do to this me? Or why me of all people?”
And even though you are not the cancer yourself, the ego is using it as an instrument to make you even more unconscious.
But the important thing to remember here is that cancer is happening to your body. It is not the essence of who you are.
Cancer may weaken the body, which we all know will eventually turn into another form of energy, but it can never weaken the living consciousness or presence that you are.
If you remember this, then it doesn’t matter if your body is experiencing cancer or any other mental or physical ailment, because you have transcended your body.
You no longer identify yourself as just a mind and body.
This is a truly liberating experience, and one that can only come from becoming more of our egoic tendencies.
When we realize that we are not the doer or victim, but rather the witness to this whole drama of life, we gain insight into the nature of our egoic mind and how it creates these destructive thought patterns.
Over time, this heightened awareness enables us to detach from egoic identifications and weaken the ego’s grip on our thoughts and actions.
In other words, we no longer identify ourselves as the cancer survivor. We no longer even identify with cancer.
We are simply pure consciousness that no disease or label can ever diminish.
This awareness can come through meditation, but it can also come through other practices as well.
Mindfulness For Ego Awareness
Closely related to meditation is the practice of mindfulness, which involves paying attention to the present moment without any judgment.
Mindfulness is about being fully aware of our thoughts, feelings, sensations, and environment, without trying to change or interpret them.
It’s about accepting things as they are, rather than how we would like them to be.
For example, if you have a negative or uncomfortable thought that enters your mind, mindfulness trains you to not resist the thought but rather observe it.
You are not even your thoughts to begin with, so why are so stressed that a negative thought has entered your mind?
It will come and go, as long as you don’t attach yourself to it — or any other thought for that matter.
And this approach helps us develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world — not just through the distorted lens of the ego.
Through mindfulness, we can observe our thoughts and emotions objectively. We can recognize egoic patterns, such as recurring negative thoughts, emotional reactions, or defensive behaviors.
And by not reacting to these patterns — which, I admit, is sometimes the hardest part — we gain the ability to break free from our habitual egoic responses, and instead make conscious choices that are aligned with our true selves.
Let’s say, for example, you struggle to find love.
You keep trying, but no matter what, you come up short.
Either you don’t have the confidence or sense of security in that moment, or you get rejected when you try — the actual details of it are not that important.
What is important is what you are thinking every time you don’t succeed.
Are these setbacks affecting your perception of yourself in a negative way? Are you doubting your uniqueness as a person or losing hope that you will find love?
You see, we all suffer from setbacks, but not all of us suffer from the analysis paralysis that comes after such setbacks — at least, not to the same degree.
If you are not aware of the ego’s games, you will get sucked into its black hole of pain, misery, and low self-esteem.
This may produce negative thought after thought, which you try to resist because it’s painful.
But resisting these thoughts only makes them stronger.
In other words, you haven’t really addressed the issue — which is observing the ego. You have merely put a bandage over it.
But the ego will keep bringing these negative thoughts in our mind.
It will keep reminding us that we are not good enough to have a romantic partner.
And so, in this instance, mindfulness will go a long way in helping us first recognize these negative thought patterns, and then secondly detach ourselves from them.
Once we see these thoughts for what they are — which are simply passing thoughts — we no longer are attached to them.
And as this attachment weakens, the thought pattern itself will weaken, until eventually it has little to no effect on you anymore.
This all comes through the practice of mindfulness.
The Power of Introspection
Finally, there is the art of introspection, which is a deliberate and honest exploration of our inner experiences to gain insight into our motivations, desires, and patterns of thinking and feeling.
Introspection is one of my favorite spiritual activities, because it helps me dive deep into my psyche to understand the underlying beliefs and conditioning that drive my own egoic patterns.
One common technique in introspection is constantly asking yourself the question “why?”
And the reason we would do such questioning is because our initial perceptions and reactions may not always reveal the whole truth behind our thoughts and behaviors.
For example, if you don’t like swimming at the beach, ask yourself why?
After some introspection, you may discover that you don’t like swimming at the beach because it means you will be swimming in front of others.
And if you ask yourself why again, you may dig deeper and find that you don’t like swimming in front of others because you nearly drowned in the ocean one time, and you felt embarrassed by everyone staring at you when the lifeguard pulled you out.
Now, you may think this is the real reason, but sometimes going one step further can reveal the truth.
In this example, if you ask yourself why again, you might come to the root cause that you do not like to swim at the beach because you want to be accepted and loved by others, and in your egoic mind, swimming at the beach in front of others may put you back into a position where you might embarrass yourself again.
In other words, you associate swimming at the beach with not being accepted and loved by others, and that is a very sad and limiting association to make.
You see how powerful introspection can be?
While it may seem uncomfortable or unnatural at first, introspection can work wonders in helping us understand our pre-conditioned thoughts and behaviors.
This is a tool I would incorporate during my coaching days, and if you’re finding it hard to practice this on your own, then I definitely recommend seeking a competent coach who can dive into your psyche with you.
By being asked — or asking ourselves — probing questions and being open to inner exploration, we can uncover hidden aspects of the ego and identify the root causes of our behaviors or thought patterns.
Going Beyond the Ego
So, in summary, meditation, mindfulness and introspection can all help us cultivate greater self-awareness, develop a deeper understanding of our egoic tendencies, and ultimately transcend them.
If you’re not already doing any of these practices, see if you can slowly start to incorporate them into your spiritual routine.
It doesn’t have to be two hours a day. Even just 10 or 15 minutes a day, if done consistently, can help you become more aware of the ego.
For me personally, I love being able to get up early in the morning and practicing mindfulness. Then, I’ll sometimes go out into the backyard, take in the nature around me, and ask deep probing questions that help me recognize the ego and ultimately connect with my true self.
As Eckhart Tolle said, “When you observe the ego in yourself, you are beginning to go beyond it.”
It’s all about developing that awareness. All about recognizing that we are consciousness itself, not these individual people and personas the ego convinces us to be.
Or to paraphrase an analogy that Eckhart uses, “we are not the painting in the canvas, but the entire canvas itself.”
Understanding this is a truly liberating moment in our spiritual journey, but I have to remind you that it’s not always going to be easy and smooth.
There will definitely be challenges along the way, and ironically, the journey becomes more challenging the further you go.
That’s because the ego recognizes that you are trying to overcome it.
If you are already unconscious of the ego, the ego doesn’t put up much resistance, because you are already under its control.
However, when you slowly start to recognize the ego and begin to dissociate yourself from it, it will go into overdrive to pull you back into its black hole.
You will be tested time and time again, and will inevitably stumble and fall.
But as long as you keep getting back up and journeying further, you will eventually escape the ego’s black hole and experience true freedom.
So, don’t get discouraged when these challenging moments occur, and remember that we all go through these challenges in order to liberate ourselves from the ego.
