Awakening Beyond Ego (Part 4 of 7): The Ego’s Illusions and Manifestations

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The ego creates many illusions and appears in countless ways, but with enough awareness and insight, one can break free from its influence. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

The AI Within

In today’s day and age, we marvel at the power of AI, and how it can compute thousands of calculations in milliseconds.

While still a relatively new technology, we are entranced by its seemingly endless potential and by the fact that it almost has a brain of its own that is constantly growing and evolving.

However, AI has existed since the beginning of time.

It has always existed in the deepest parts of our mind, but we just call it a different name.

Instead of artificial intelligence, we call it the ego.

But the two are pretty much the same.

Like AI, the ego is not the source of truth. It needs to feed on something in order to produce something else.

AI is like the ego in that it seemingly has a brain of its own, when in reality, it feeds off the data (or thoughts) that we provide. Photo by Negative Space

For those of you who have used ChatGPT before, you know that it can’t give you a response until you first provide a prompt.

Similarly, our ego cannot create illusions and deceptions without first using our own thoughts and experiences.

This is why the ego is largely dormant in newborns, toddlers and very young children.

They have a much smaller pool of thoughts and experiences than you and I do.

And so, the older we get and the more experiences we have, the more data (if you will) the ego has to work with.

It is constantly evolving and getting smarter, creating thought patterns that it knows will give us trouble.

Just like ChatGPT gives a different response to every person who writes a different prompt, the ego adapts itself to every person based on their own unique thoughts, beliefs, and experiences.

So, it’s kind of hard to detect all of the various ways in which the ego appears in our life.

However, we can take a look at some of the ego’s most common patterns in order to better understand it — and ultimately transcend it.

This post is part four of the seven-part series called “Awakening Beyond Ego,” and if you haven’t yet read the first three parts, I highly suggest you do so.

In those posts, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of what the ego really is, how it’s different from our true self, and how we can become more aware of it through various spiritual practices.

But now that you’re ready to delve further, let’s take a look at some of the most common illusions and manifestations of the ego.

Rising Above Defensiveness

While there are perhaps more egoic patterns than we can ever realize, the most common ones include being defensive, being attached to outcomes, comparing ourselves to others, and seeking external validation.

Now, I already provided an example of seeking external validation in Part Three of this series.

So, if you haven’t read that part yet or just want a refresher, you can certainly check out that post first.

But now, let’s focus on the other three common illusions and manifestations that we haven’t covered yet, starting with being defensive.

Defensiveness is one of the most common and challenging manifestations of the ego.

Using years of thoughts, experiences, beliefs, and social influences, the ego has carefully constructed a narrative of who it wants us to be.

It takes into account our nationality, race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation — you name it — and it crafts this identity that it then tries to sell to us.

It will quite literally make us believe that we are the thoughts and stories playing inside our head.

And nine times out of ten, we will believe those stories.

In fact, we won’t even question them for a second.

Defensiveness is a common manifestation of the ego that largely goes unnoticed in many of us. Photo by Ketut Subiyanto

When we’re unaware of the ego to begin with, we accept this mind-made identity as the ultimate truth.

And by doing so, we create this rigid and false version of ourselves that hates to be challenged or tested.

For example, if we identify strongly with a political party, then any tweet, post, or remark from an opposing party triggers us.

It makes us defensive.

And the reason we become defensive is because we feel like someone is attacking the essence of who we are.

We don’t realize that people change political affiliations all the time, or the fact that no baby or toddler — that is, someone with a very dormant ego — has no affiliation at all.

They don’t even know what a political party is!

So, instead of reflecting on these truths, we are stuck in our views and become even more defensive, combative, and ignorant of the ego pulling our strings in the background.

But, here’s something to remember.

If you try to identify with anything that is not your true essence, you open yourself up to pain, suffering, and ignorance.

Defensiveness arises because you have identified with something or someone that is not really you.

And so, the ego tries to convince you that you need to defend yourself, when in truth, there is nothing to defend against.

Not in the spiritual sense, that is.

However, so many of us don’t realize this because we are deeply entrenched in the ego’s storytelling.

It’s like when we watch a good movie at the theater.

The ego is a master at making us believe certain narratives about ourselves and others. It’s like a really good movie that makes us forget who and where are in that moment. Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko

We don’t realize that it’s a movie, because we are so engrossed in the characters and their lives, dreams, and struggles.

We may not even realize that we exist in that moment, because we identify so strongly with the stories that are unfolding on the screen.

But the minute the movie ends and the lights turn back on, we remember that we are in a movie theater and the fact that those stories aren’t real.

They were just something to distract and entertain us.

In this example, the ego is the movie and the mind is the screen on which the movie is being played.

The mind itself can actually be a very empty and peaceful screen.

But the minute the movie starts, we don’t see an empty screen anymore.

We see a story.

And not only that, we see how WE connect to that story.

This is how our tendency to identify with other things can make us unaware of the truth that we don’t actually need to identify with anything in the first place.

It’s almost counterintuitive when you think about it, but you don’t need to “identify” with your true essence, because you are already that.

No thoughts, ideas, or words can ever explain or capture the essence of something.

It’s like me telling you what a mango tastes like, but you haven’t had one before.

I can tell you it’s sweet and soft and so forth, but until you actually taste or experience the mango, you won’t know it’s essence.

Until you experience your essence, you won’t know what it is.

Identification is therefore just a mental activity to give yourself the ability to understand and navigate the material world.

But it doesn’t really give you a sense of what your essence is.

When you stop identifying with things, people, ideas, or thoughts, you no longer have anything to “defend,” and therefore relinquish the need to become defensive. Photo by Walter Torres

It’s just describing the mango, and nothing more.

So, be careful that you don’t identify with any thoughts or ideas swimming inside your mind.

You don’t need to believe the story that is being played on the movie screen.

You just need to experience this essence for yourself to know that it is the real you.

When you don’t experience this essence, you experience what we call mental and emotional pain and have no choice but to become defensive.

However, your true essence, or consciousness as it’s sometimes described, can never be attacked, and so it never needs to be defensive.

Only things that are fragile, vulnerable, and insecure need to be defensive.

But consciousness is none of these things, which is why the ego tries to prevent us from remembering our essence by distracting us with thoughts, beliefs, and the need to create an identity.

However, you don’t need to create an identity.

You are already you, and no words, labels or ideas can ever capture your essence.

Realizing that you are beyond identification is the most powerful thing you can ever do for yourself, and it is the ultimate key to overcoming defensiveness.

Beyond Outcome Attachment

Another common manifestation of the ego is attachment to outcomes.

Now, for me personally, this is something that I struggle a lot with.

I often get swept into the belief that I need to DO something in order to attain peace and happiness.

And because I have this false belief, I unconsciously pour all my energy and effort into the doing of a particular task rather than the Being that comes with it.

And I not only do it unconsciously sometimes, but I also become attached to the outcome.

When we are attached to outcomes, we give the ego a way to manipulate us by making us desire and chase after a particular result. Photo by Vlada Karpovich

I forget that the no outcome is greater than the peace and joy of being here now.

I forget that what I’m really after can actually be found in the present moment instead of a future that only exists in my mind.

So, for example, I love making YouTube videos, and often when I’m working on a particular video, I sometimes will have this urge or compulsion to get it done in a certain time, rather than just focusing on the video creation process itself.

Don’t get me wrong: there are many times when I’m fully present in the process, but there are also times when I’m completely under the control of the ego and its efforts to make me attached to the idea of creating as many videos as possible.

Somehow, the ego has instilled this belief in me that if I take too long to make a certain video then I will run out of videos and won’t be able to consistently deliver content.

I know, it sounds silly.

But it just goes to show you how the ego often makes us think or believe things that are meaningless.

Sometimes, this belief can be so strong that I don’t even realize it at that moment, and find myself unconsciously stressing out when a certain video is taking a little bit longer to make.

Thankfully, though, these feelings don’t last long, and after some slowing down and cultivating awareness, I’m able to take a deep breath and detach myself from this outcome.

I’m able to realize that I don’t need to attach my sense of self to anything, because there is nothing that my essence can be attached to.

When you free yourself from attachment, you become like a balloon that has no limits: it keeps floating higher and higher, free from the boundaries of the world. Photo by Bess Hamiti

Rather, I’m trying to let myself float freely, like a ballon flying higher and higher into the endless sky above.

So hopefully this example gives you some perspective on how the ego can make us so focused on a particular goal that we sometimes lose ourselves.

Rather than simply surrendering to God or the Universe and trusting its wisdom, we often get pulled into the ego’s illusion that we are in control of everything.

But the truth is that we are NOT in control of everything.

Far from it, actually.

We are just one piece of an infinite universe, and we can never control other outcomes, people, or even our own selves.

When we are attached, we experience nothing but stress, frustration, and misalignment with our true self.

But when we are able to detach ourselves, we become like the ballon floating in the sky of consciousness: free, happy, and peaceful.

Letting Go of Comparisons

Finally, and this one is perhaps the most prevalent illusion, the ego is notorious for making us compare ourselves to others.

This is especially true in today’s world, where everyone’s lives are out in the open on social media for everyone to see.

You can see how much money someone makes, how many followers they have, or even how their romantic or family life is like.

There is no privacy at all anymore and this has created a culture of mass comparison and insecurity.

We are constantly questioning whether our lives can be better, based on what we see other people having on the surface.

Of course, the key word here is “surface,” because we never really know what someone’s life is like behind closed doors.

There is perhaps no greater illusion that the ego creates than the illusion of needing to compare ourselves with others. And this compulsion to compare has only been exacerbated with the arrival of social media and the ability to dive into almost anyone’s life. Photo by mikoto.raw

Perhaps the couple that you think always looks cute and happy together are actually experiencing problems in their marriage.

One never knows except the people experiencing it themselves.

But the ego doesn’t care if it’s all a facade or not.

It wants us to constantly compare ourselves to others, because the act of comparing ensures its own survival.

By comparing ourselves to someone else, we are no longer focused on finding our true self, and thereby transcending the ego.

Instead, we become focused on following or beating someone else.

But the truth is that no person can reflect or show us our true self.

They may provide a bit of inspiration or guidance sometimes, but the only way to find our true self is by looking inward, not by scrolling through Instagram or TikTok to see how other people are living.

For example, if someone has more material success than us, the ego will do everything in its power to make us chase after that success so we can be just like the person we are comparing ourselves to — or perhaps even better.

In the process, we become distracted and unaware of the ego’s subtle influence.

On the other hand, if someone has less success than us, the ego will remind us that we are better than them in some way, and give us a false sense of superiority.

This just gives the ego even more power and control over us, as we completely buy into this false self-image.

So, as you can see, there is rarely any good in comparing ourselves to others, regardless of if they have more or less than you.

When we compare ourselves to others, we lose sight of the best way to transcend the ego: finding and connecting with our true self. Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva

Just focus on yourself and on shining the light of awareness on what the ego is doing to you.

When you see all the games and illusions it is creating, you will no longer feel the urge to compare yourself to anyone, because you are fully at peace with who you are.

It’s true, we all live unique lives, but we are also the same at the most fundamental level.

Because behind each of our egoic thoughts and illusions, we are all part of the same universal consciousness that permeates everything.

We are no different from each other than the rays in the Sun or the drops of water in the ocean.

So, even though the ego can be persuasive and crafty, through enough practice, we can become aware of the damage it’s doing to our mind, overall well-being, and relationships with others.

As a reminder, the ego appears in so many different ways — more than we can ever imagine.

But fortunately we have a tool to become aware of these manifestations, and it has always lived inside us.

It is the pure awareness that is inherent to our true self.

Embracing the Light

So, now that we understand the ego and how to become aware of it, let’s prepare ourselves for the fifth post of this series, which focuses on how to actually transcend the ego.

If you’ve made it this far, you should really be happy with yourself, because we have gone over a lot of material in this series — most of which is pretty complex at first but easy to internalize once you get it.

Remember, you can always revisit these posts if you ever need a refresher or if you want to reference something as you continue to encounter the ego in your daily life.

But I’ll leave you with a final message and analogy to drive it all home.

When we are unconscious and under the control of the ego, it is like being in the dark.

We all can probably remember being scared of the dark as children, or even now as adults, especially when our mind plays tricks on us and make us perceive images or things that we find scary.

But all we have to do is to the turn the light switch on, and all the darkness and fear fade away.

Transcending the ego is a bit light turning on the light.

It requires us to leave the safety of our bed and walk to the other side of the room, which can be scary and challenging at first.

However, once we actually reach the light and flip it on, we will never be scared again.

We will never suffer again.